Ever since my pregnancy with Bailey, I've been in Mommy Mode. It seems to be the place to be when you have offspring, or so I'm assuming. And when I taught, I was a bit overprotective, but after having a Bailey, it's intensified. I just couldn't help myself.
And when I taught, other people's children were the only beings I knew. I didn't have my own. And while I didn't always agree with the methods of child rearing that some used, I didn't really have my own experiences to go by, only assumptions, rather presumptuous assumptions at that. Dirty faces, screaming battles, temper tantrums in the candy aisle. And motherhood has given me the chance to exact what I thought were proper tactics. We don't get something every time we're in the store (and rarely ever do). Yes, my child does always have a clean face in the grocery store (just maybe not always at home as pictures have proven). Most of all, I know no mother is perfect and it's not worth trying to be, except to be the best you can be. It sounds like a commercial, I know.
Most issues I don't ever judge any mother on because whether I do them or not, I know they could easily happen in life. And honestly, I don't want any mother judging me and my own methods or lack thereof. I'm just usually trying to get by. Isn't everyone? Of course, I can't help but certain times just be thankful other children are not my children as I'm sure people have thanked their own lucky stars before when witnessing something Bailey has done. It's happened, I'm convinced of it. But most importantly, I NEVER shove advice down someone else's throat and tell them what they MUST do as a parent, because seriously, I am no expert. Really, who is? Hush.
And just when you least suspect it, you go into Mommy mode around a stranger's child, not even meaning to. A wee one sticking something toxic or choke-worthy in their mouths. The little one crawling over the edge of the cart when you know they could end up splattering blood all over the store's linoleum. The kid poking his sibling in the arm with something sharp. The child found alone, searching in a panic for his or her parent. And although mothers probably don't mean to get involved, instinct forces them to.
This happened to me tonight. I didn't want it to. I didn't want to judge anyone. I didn't want to step over any boundaries, but fate forced my hands...and feet.
It all started when I was in the Retail Giant speaking to someone I know. It was extremely late and I had just stopped by briefly for batteries and grape jelly. (What a combination!) Of course, I picked up other things too and then ended up chatting and while we chatted, this woman came up and asked for someone to be paged over the intercom. A woman was needed out to her car because a couple of her kids were seriously upset. As this conversation took place, a truth was then revealed that this woman requesting the page had no idea who this woman was. And she only knew her name from the little girl in the car. If you're following this, three children were by themselves in a car after 10:30 at night. Fury overcame my friend and I.
I ended up eavesdropping outside while my friend was talking to a manager over the matter. And although I was originally meaning to just find out more to the story to relay back to my friend inside, things went a bit further than that. My eyes first told me there was a girl around the age of eight, a boy around Bailey's age in the driver's seat squirming about, and a little screaming baby in a car seat with a tube taped up by his nose. I was quite nauseated by the idea of the three of them being alone.
I approached the car again and this time, the little boy like a fire crawled over the window's edge of the car. The windows were all rolled completely down and he got out so easily it disturbed me. But hey, I have my own climber at home. It was only instinct, but the moment he was over that window, I scooped him up and put him right back in the seat. I was mad at myself for allowing it to happen, even though I knew he needed to be kept safe, but really, this kid had no idea who I was. So I then decided to introduce myself immediately to all three children and then learned their names and ages. The baby was four months and much calmer at this point, the girl was indeed eight, and the little monkey boy was two. He affectionately earned the title of Monkey Boy after proving to me he could climb out the window 54,352 times.
I was out there for a while with these children, long enough to learn all sorts of things about them. But as much I learned, give me very little credit. There was an Amish lady in a car waiting for a parent to go out to that specific car and once she knew the children were in safe hands, she ended up leaving. She'd apparently been out there for a long time. Then there was a couple with two teenage girls who had been giving away kittens and they'd been watching the car for a long while (and were the same people who had the woman paged). By the time I'd gotten out there, the mother had been absent for over and hour and thirty minutes. They had seen the woman go in, but it took a while to realize three kids were in the car ALONE.
The manager ended up calling the police and I continued to hang out with the little boy the most since he had no intention of staying in the car any longer. I tried my best to entertain him safely and we walked up to the building (they were parked right up front) to see the last kitten and suddenly he decided to run off inside screaming for his mother. I quickly grabbed him and we went back out and there was the assumed mother arguing with the manager telling him she hadn't been gone "that long."
I'm not sure how she got out those doors without hearing her son or missing us since he hadn't ran that far inside. That baffled me. So did the fact it took her a second to realize he was standing next to me and wasn't in the car at all. That part me disturbed me more. I handed her off to him in front of the manager and walked back inside because I wanted to prevent myself from saying anything towards her.
The cops arrived shortly thereafter and the witnesses had to give statements, including myself. The cop wanted to know how long I'd observed the children (almost thirty minutes) and allegedly she'd been absent for around two hours. They ended up letting her leave with the kids but the case is pending and charges might be filed once tapes were viewed and an exact time was accurately calculated. The cop admitted he couldn't do much if it'd been "just" an hour. He didn't seem to agree with that personally, only professionally. But really, ten minutes is too long.
I really felt for those children and although I try my best not to dislike or hate anyone, I really didn't like that mother and felt as though she didn't deserve that title at all. I also wondered how much trouble the little girl would be in since she is the one who offered the mother's name, who by the way wasn't her mother and according to the child was, "like my aunt." The situation called to mothers everywhere as every mother inside who knew of what happened was disturbed, as well as even the people who didn't have children.
And that should tell the world something: actions like that woman's are completely abnormal and taboo. Thank goodness the rest of the world was willing to be those children's mothers. Something like this makes me want to just hug my child even tighter.
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