Oven-Toasted

Bailey:  Daddy, I have something to tell you.

 

Daddy:  What is it deary?

 

Bailey:  I just put my little dog (her stuffed Lady from Lady and the Tramp fame) in the oven  and now she's toast.

 

Daddy:  What?

(Mommy's laughing so hard she's making no sound.)

 

Bailey:  I just put my little dog in my little toy kitchen in the oven and now she's toast.

 

Daddy:  (perplexed and bothered)  Well, let's keep her out of the oven from now on.

 

Bailey:  Okay.

 

(Bailey runs to go play.  Mommy was too busy fighting back her silent laughter's tears.)

She knows her stuff

The Nickelodeon channel was on the television and Bailey says to me, "LOOK! LOOK!" and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to pull my face up from the catalog I had just received in the mail to see something pertaining to Spongebob.  I looked up anyway and a kid was showing scenes from the Democratic National Convention and Bailey proudly points out, "you and Daddy keep watching that show."  And then they showed Barack Obama and Bailey says, "it's him!"

 

I'm not sure I've ever been so proud in my life that someone has paid that much attention.  It makes up for her crying every time she saw John Kerry's face in 2004.  (But Cheney made her cry too.)  Thank you, Bailey. 

Canadians for the Week

At approximately 6:30 am, we're heading to the airport for our Niagara Falls/Toronto trip.  Bailey's been anxiously awaiting this trip for the last several months. 

 

Hopefully I'll share photos someday of our trip, but until then...

 

...as they say in Canada,

 

Bye, eh.

She didn't like her dress.

 

Unlike how it appears, Bailey was not giving you a 360 degree view of her Back-to-School attire.  Instead, she was exhibiting just how unhappy she was with me that she had to wear that dress (which is appropriately fully adorned with apples) to school today.  In fact, Bailey prefers to not wear any dresses.

 

 

She also had matching knee socks on, but she refused to show them off.  When I picked her up from her first day of preschool as a four-year-old, she told me she was "just happy now."  However, she did make sure that I noted that she still didn't like the dress.

 

 

At least she likes school.

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Fish-Flavored Snow Cones

 

 

Well, somebody found Nemo.

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Daddy's Old

Yesterday afternoon while I was working, Bailey finally broke out her guitar she received for her birthday from Grandma Doni.  She rocked out to her stuffed audience in their prime couch seating.  And this is what brought Bailey to informing me today that "I'm going to be a rockstar, if I want to, when I get old like Daddy, and play my guitar; I can do that if I want to."  She went into some more details, but I was fixated on the "old like Daddy."

 

Then, she dressed herself in her black, "This is my little black dress" shirt we found at Old Navy last spring and a pair of shorts.  And as she continued to gather her things for the Kidz Day Out program she passionately announced, "OH MAN!  I have hair all over my shirt!!  It's all Fudge's fault."  I pointed out to her that's probably why she shouldn't have been wrestling on the floor with Fudge and that it's exactly what I had warned her against.  So that prompted Miss Black Shirt with Dog hair to reply, "She did it when I was eight years old too." 

"But you aren't eight years old yet.  You're four."

"Well, someday I'll be eight years old when I get old like Daddy."

 

And there was that statement again.  I very much enjoy being the young one.

Lobster Girl

After our Tuesday experience with the farm, today was the perfect day to return.  Bailey had been asking about going back ever since, so she was absolutely thrilled to make the trip again.  She was bouncing around on the walking trails, making her way to the Big White Barn, and on our way, we heard some noise coming from the nearby playground. 

"HEY LOBSTER GIRL!"

"Lobster Girl!!"

"YEAH YOU! LOBSTER GIRL!"

"Yeah, you!!  We're talking to you."

Now, I had no idea who they were speaking to, but apparently Bailey figured it out and thougth they wanted to be friends and they continued with their "Lobster Girl!" chants and then threw pieces of sticks and things at her.  I then escorted her away from the fence and the little hooligans saying, "Just ignore them, they're being quite rude."  I said it loud enough hoping their mother(s) heard me.

It did have me thinking though how cool of an X-Men name that was and how the costume would look with the blazing red hair and vicious claws.  But unfortunately, that night at home she was instead Fire Girl, and she came up with the title all on her own.

Whatever!

I was driving down the highway and hear, "whatever."  And not just, "whatever," but "what-evah" as though I'd picked up a hitchiking valley girl who had a flat tire on her hot pink Barbie convertible.  And just as I wondered about such a beast I hear, "whatever" again and this time, it sounds slightly different in dialect as though Valley Girl #1 was from Malibu and Valley girl #2 was from Beverly Hills. 

 

And then the whatevers were bouncing around like ping pong balls inside my car, one right after another, all in different dialects, all coming from the same source.  Apparently my redhead was testing the word, toying with it like a cat with a fake mouse.  It's in movies and shows all the time, so I guess it was only a matter of time before it entered her vocabulary in such a way.  Fortunately for her sake, it wasn't said directly to me.  And she just kept saying it aloud in a million sort of ways.

 

Whatever.

You're a what??!

Bailey was proudly standing before me in some dress-up attire.

 

 

She asked me, "Do you know what I'm dressed up as?"

"No, what are you dressed up as?"

And she looked perplexed as though she was seriously hoping I'd know the answer and wasn't just simple chit chat after all.  And after some pondering, she clearly said, "I'm a kasham." (Prounounced kuh-sham)

A what? 

And then I asked her just that.  "A what...?"

"A kasham."

"And what is a kasham?"

"Well, they're just someone who dresses like this."

Well, that explains it, because I've honestly seen no one else dressed in a clown bowler hat, red tutu, and gold mask ever in my life.  Luckily, I have Bailey in my life to enlighten me.

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Whatever happened to the dinosaurs?

Bailey and I were talking about the things we'd do next week as I was combing violently through her hair.  And among those things we'll do next week is a visit to a museum that houses dinosaur bones.  Real bones.  And Bailey wanted to make sure they'd be real bones and she also wanted to know if there would be real dinosaurs there, as in alive and well and stomping about.  She was quite specific.  I explained to her that dinosaurs are extinct, which I think she knew, but was hoping otherwise regardless.  And suddenly, she really wanted to know what happened to them and I was honest and told her "no one really knows," and that it happened a long time ago.

 

And after a bit of thinking, Bailey announces, "I KNOW!  Do you think maybe their faces crashed into an airplane that was flying and they all died?  I think that's what happened to the dinosaurs."

 

Asteroids, airplanes.  Eh, I think the kid could be on to something.

I told you we weren't going to the zoo...

And I stood by that.  I didn't doubt my will power.  Not at all.  But I did suggest to Bailey that since it wasn't as hot as it usually was, we could go to the farm for the afternoon.  We haven't been to the farm literally in months.  We spend a lot of time there in the spring and fall, but once the hot hot heat arrives, yeah, that ship sails.  I'm not about to walk around in 99 degrees surrounded by livestock for anybody, not even Bailey.

We headed out late, but since the farm is open until 8 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I felt absolutely no pressure.  Bailey took her nice sweet time walking around, spending nearly twenty minutes in front of cock-a-doodling roosters and trying her darndest to pet them without being pecked.  And then she was excited to get to go do some treasure hunting so we went to mine and the guy informed Bailey she couldn't because it was five minutes till 5 and well, things closed down at 5.  Whoa.  Wait a second.  Ahem.

Apparently there is fine print on that 8 o' clock closing time.  All activities still close at 5.  Mommy wasn't amused and Bailey was crushed.  That meant no fishing.  No pony rides.  No feeding a baby bottle to baby goats.  And obviously, no mining.  Even the concession stands and the big barn closed down.  So Mommy had to call Daddy and tell him not to meet them there after all.  Poor, poor Bailey.  She was so disappointed.  She just couldn't understand why they wouldn't let her fish.  After all, she put her shoes on and got ready to go and everything.  And she hadn't been there in FOREVER.  We will definitely be making another trip soon to catch up, and arrive with plenty of time before 5.  As long as it's not 99 degrees, of course.

Luckily, Mommy's resourceful and turned that frown upside down by suggesting the House of Chuck.  And, sure, we were JUST there on Sunday, but this time we ate their nasty pizza and didn't feel like sardines squished in a can because it was practically dead in there.  We had a lot of fun, but as Bailey pointed out several times and as she has for days,  we still need to go swimming.

A Case of "Fantastic" Timing

So, all morning, Bailey has been asking about the zoo and how she thinks we should go there "next time."  I told her that next week we will in Toronto and she wasn't sure that's what she had in mind, so I showed her the Toronto Zoo website and she was on board.  In fact, she said, "Grandma and Grandpa went there last week."  (We're always the last to know these things.)

 

So an hour later, I asked Bailey if she'd like to do something fun today and she did and she wanted to go somewhere.  She thought today would be the perfect day to go to the zoo.  Now I should've known better.  I should've considered our conversation from earlier and how that'd apply to now.  I told her that's something fun we like to do with Daddy and she replied, "that's okay, we can do it together, just you and me."  It was similar to last night when Bailey told Daddy that "after Mommy leaves for work maybe we can go swimming at the Great Wolf Lodge, maybe we can do that."  And about the zoo?  She most importantly wanted to go to see the elephants.

Then I went to look at the temperature and www.Weather.com because I always do that before I make a decision and before I head anywhere.  And what should appear on the Weather.com site?  Right next to the forecast was an advertisement from the Kansas City Zoo with a picture of one big elephant.  Now this is not what I was intending, but apparently Bailey was and she was so excited because as she stated, "that's exactly what I was talking about."

Excuse me.  I need to go do some compromising.  And regardless of what you might think, we are not going to the zoo today.

A Suitable Conversation After a Day Away

(Leaving the Kid's Day Out Program Monday afternoon)

 

Mommy:  How was your day?

Bailey:  It was good.

Mommy: Did you have fun?

Bailey:  I did.

Mommy:  What did you do today?

Bailey:  I played with Jackson, but not the other Jackson and with Kale and all my friends.

Mommy:  And were you good today?

Bailey:  I was.

Mommy:  Did you get in trouble?

Bailey:  No, I didn't.

Mommy:  Were you in time out?

Bailey:  I wasn't.

Mommy:  Did you hit any babies?

Bailey:  I didn't.

Mommy:  Fair enough.  It sounded like a great day.

Bailey:  It was. 

It's the 12th of August Already????!

It's completely shocking to think we're already into the second week of August and as I just realized tonight (after Rob pointed it out to me), we will be in Canada next week.  It's extraordinary.  The time flies, in fact, it is sneaking away from me at some warped speed and even though I walk extremely fast like some sort of freak on drugs, I just can't seem to catch it.

 

At least we'll be on vacation next week!  And here I kept saying, "in about two to two and a half weeks."  Sometimes it's not so bad being wrong, especially when you're going on a trip.

Growin' Up

A few days ago, I awoke to find a concerned child.  She was on the side of my bed yearning to ask a very, very important question.

"When is Fudge going to grow up?"

 

I ask myself this same question quite often.

 

"When is she going to get really big?"

 

I answered, "Well, she's still a puppy, but she's not going to get much bigger than she is now."

 

"But I just like dogs that get really, really big after being really small."

 

Me too, me too. 

 

 

 

But she is adorable.  Luckily.

Rainy Days

Unlike most Saturdays (that do not include family reunions and birthday parties), I didn't have to work.  This isn't normal at all, obviously, and only because I had used some personal hours to do so before I lost them due to not using them.  We didn't really have anything planned except that Bailey really, really, really wanted to go swimming.  The rain couldn't keep us away, because instead of conventional pools, we prefer an indoor aquatic center, and Bailey was quite excited to display her underwater skills.  She couldn't stop talking about it.  We got to the pool this afternoon only to discover that the pool that is never ever closed was closed for two weeks for annual maintenance.  That's okay.  Bailey had a plan B.  We could just go to the Great Wolf Lodge.

 

I think Daddy would've let her, but Mommy pointed out that the Great Wolf Lodge is for special occasions, and yeah, we'd been there twice in the last month, but those were relatively special occasions and a rainy day is hardly one, even if Plan A was shut down for maintenance.  We were out of poolside options, but we laid out some other offers on the table, Daddy even suggesting a local hotel to purchase a night's stay so we could swim.  After much contemplation, Bailey decided that Chuck E. Cheese was a suitable replacement even though she really, really, really wanted to swim, and so we headed from the Great city of Lawrence to the closest Chuck House.

 

Rainy days seem to bring us to the Chuck House.  And as predicted, it was busy, but Bailey had a fabulous time, probably due to the fact Mommy wasn't armed with a camera.  Unfortunate indeed.  It was great though.  We won some games, accrued more tickets we'll never cash in, and still have a glove compartment full of tokens ready for the next spontaneous trip to the House of Chuck.  And although it rained and the indoor pool was closed, it still ended up being an awesome day after all, probably because we spent it together.  Yeah, I think that had something to do with it.

Her First Broken Heart

Bailey looked a bit disconcerted as she ended up telling me: "Mommy, the heart inside of me, it's broken."

"How did it get broken?"

 

"Because my heart got broken inside of me."

 

"Well, how did it get that way?"

 

"Because I'm sad that heart is broken."

"Well, how did it get broken?"

And after a ring of circles of the same lines, she responded, "The sword inside of me did it, and that makes me sad and now my heart inside of me is all broken."

 

I was curious about the sword inside her and how she managed to get one and I didn't.  but unfairness aside, I couldn't make up this stuff now matter how hard I tried. 

 

Picture This...

In case you ever wondered what errands we were running on the 22nd, the day Mommy fell asleep during the movie, Space Chimps, this had a large part in it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spent more money on these than I ever have on photos before.  And the book Olivia is because the character Olivia (the same character mentioned in a few former blog entries) is all over the red, white and black outfit she's wearing.  She did such an unbelievable job in these, even if she was being intentionally goofy.  Unfourgettable pictures, most definitely.

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It's rarely that bad

Although Harry Potter's birthday started off rather flat and even though I never did get my hair cut, the day ended up finding some salvation, mostly in my attitude.  And just when I was going to let my stress load get the better of me, I ended up putting my to-do list down long enough to actually celebrate my own birthday(which isn't like me at all).  Daddy and Bailey had decided that even though we did it two weeks prior for Bailey's birthday the Great Wolf Lodge was an excellent place to go for such a celebration.  I was hesitant, after all I had a lot to do for the weekend's reunion, but I knew this was my only chance to have my 29th birthday and Daddy and Bailey were trying.

So even though my birthday holds a rather sad record for rarely being worth mentioning, it ended up being a good day and I had my favorite food from the Cheesecake Factory.  Chicken Madeira and cheesecake make everything better (as well as a more positive outlook).  And I'll get my haircut scheduled again...someday.  I'm just glad I'm not working on anymore parties for a very long time. 

 

If ever.