The Elusive Butterfly

Bailey informed me that there was a butterfly behind me.  And that's how it all began...

 

Before I knew it I was surrounded.  The chase had begun.  Around me, around me, around me, circle after circle, and I was stuck in the middle of a high speed chase.

 

Then the lucrative butterfly chose a more clever route and the chase continued, over the couch, flying over the ottomans, bouncing from the floor to throw pillows, the net's mesh swooshing away, one miss to the next.

 

That was one quick butterfly.

 

But the huntress was determined.

 

And then for a second, that elusive butterfly stopped to look up at me from the edge of the couch armrest, maybe for assistance, maybe just to give me a cute expression, but then down came the net on top of her body.  The huntress had not forgotten her prey.

 

I suppose that's what happens when a butterfly ventures indoors.  Do not worry about it though, the huntress means no harm.  And I'm sure that Butterfly Fudge has an escape soon planned.

A Matter of Importance

It was important enough to interrupt Mommy and Daddy's conversation on a vital subject such as Widescreen format on DVDs.

 

"Mommy, my little dinosaur just puked on my little red chair.  He puked and puked and puked and puked."

Because there are few surprises in life

We were shopping today at Kohl's, taking advantage of some super fabulous deals.  We bought a heap, and then made the mistake of returning inside, only because I had forgotten our bag of of things that hadn't fit from two days ago when I found another set of super fabulous deals.  I went to return these items and as we were heading back out, we happened to walk past a shelf I didn't recall noticing before and they had a few clearance items of interest.  As I was inspecting one particular item, it suddenly became an item of interest to Bailey.  I'm not going to tell you what it was, just to be ornery, but she went into details about what she could do with said item, and as it became only more apparent that it was a great idea, the challenge was to get it bought and to my car without her noticing.

But, alas, she didn't want to part with it.  She believed that it was such a good deal, we needed to take it home right now so she could start all their beautiful plans together.  I broke it to her gently that she wasn't getting it and that was that.  And then, when she was distracted, I talked to an associate about how critical it was that my child not know I was buying this item for her birthday.  He seemed to have understood.

Bailey and I went to check out for the last time, this time purchasing something for a classmate's birthday (that she picked out herself) and the associate then started getting the other item ready with the subtly of an airplane sign.  He could not have been more obvious if he had tried.  Seriously.  And from the moment that bag was in my hands, she knew what it was, no matter how ignorant I acted and mum I stayed.  I wouldn't even talk about it except by saying in the parking lot after what felt like miles of inquiries, "If it is for you, it's for your birthday, so we're not going to talk about it anymore."

 

Of course, I guess she thought talking to Daddy about it wasn't part of the arrangement.

 

Maybe she'll forget about by July 13th?  Yeah, I'm not so optimistic either.

Things I would have never said...

...had I never been Bailey's mother.

 

"Do not put the worms in the water please.  I told you worms do not like water.  They will drown, and I know you know what that word means."  And she does, boy does she.

...Only to have been followed by her own statement:

"He's not drowning.  He's happy.  He's swimming.  He told me he just likes water.  Don't worry, he's having fun."

 

Luckily, worms are not an endangered species.

Let them eat dirt

In this household, we do the best we can to celebrate the Earth everyday, but Bailey was pretty stoked when she discovered it had its very own day.  In fact, she could tell you what today was.  This morning, she was ecstatic to learn the day had finally arrived.  I'm guessing her Mother's affection for holidays is rubbing off on her, just a thought though.

In celebration, Bailey was shocked to find out I was serving dirt to her classmates.  She watched in horror as I put a fresh batch of gummy worms one by one in cups of dirt, sprinkling dirt on each one.  I had waited to do it before taking them in, so the gummy worms wouldn't get hard after being in the refrigerator all night long.  While doing this incredible act of torture, I listened to, "stop, Mommy, you're getting them dirty," "what are you doing to them?!," and "you can't do that!"  Apparently, Mommy had lost her mind and was all out of suitable ingredients.

I brought the dirt into her classroom just as I intended and when I returned later, Bailey's teachers informed me of how they had all of the kids help get the table ready and when they brought out the dirt, a couple children had intriguing reactions.  One child was asking about them eating mud and had a look of insult because he'd done all of this work to eat dirt.  Another child wanted them to wash the dirt off of her gummy worm.  Some of the other children seemed fine with this notion, even though they thought they weren't supposed to eat dirt in the past.

In reality, the mud tasted a lot like chocolate pudding and the dirt was like Oreo crumbs.  I witnessed faces and faces of a dirty mess.  The results of a last minute dessert (a decision I made as I was literally leaving work the night prior) seemed to have gone over well.  I forgot to take photos of the dirt though, but just imagine mud and dry dirt and you have a decent vision of what I fed these poor children.  Regardless, according to the teachers, one of the little boys pointed out that Bailey's Mommy always brings treats.  The kids seemed pretty excited about that.  Bailey thought nothing of it.

In addition to the mud, Bailey brought her classmates packets of seeds we had worked on together.  Each packet had a message from Bailey with her picture on them.  One of her friends in class, Brady, informed everyone in class when they called them flower seeds that they were actually Bailey seeds.  So you too can grow your very own Bailey, folks.  It's the latest rage this gardening season.

 

Celebrate Earth, plant a Bailey; oh and Happy Earth Day.

 

It started with a chair...

Bailey started insisting one afternoon, quite spontaneously, that she wanted her "little McDonald's" brought up from the basement.  It's kind of like a play kitchen, but it's a McDonalds, given to her from a very nice lady, something she played with a bit last summer before it took residence in the basement.  She remembered it and decided it needed to come back for a visit.  I bargained with her.  She needed to do some massive cleaning and configuration for such an event to take place.

 

While contemplating this, I thought about this corner in her room where the rocker glider was and so an idea was born.  It really was time to get rid of it.  It was a temptation for unfolded sheets and laundry.  It was a haven for misplaced toys.  It was no longer being used for its intended purpose.  So, I offered it on www.Freecycle.org and I had several people begging for it, but few who actually would come in the timely fashion I requested.  It finally ended up going to a persistent soul, ironically this same person who had said she hoped her child never had Bailey's red hair.  She showed up on my doorstep (over two hours late) for unwanted VHS movies I suppose with the intention of asking about the chair, which she did.  Little did she know, I was going to ask her if she wanted it anyway (because she had been number 47 on the list for it).  I was just ready to have it gone before the unfolded sheets staged a revolution.

Bailey was not ready though.  As soon as I started out that door with the chair, the fit ensued.  It was her chair.  It had always been hers.  And she didn't want it to go to someone else with a little baby, she wanted it to stay at her house.  That was too bad.  That girl certainly wasn't going to let her keep it, and neither was I.  It went to its new home, and while it had waited several days to leave our home, Bailey's McDonalds had already nestled snug in that very same corner, a place she enjoyed it for days.  But without the chair cramping up the style of the living room, suddenly she didn't want her McDonalds' gainful employment anymore, she wanted her chair back.  And we heard about it.  ALL ABOUT IT.  "I want my chair back.  It was my best chair."  And it was complete with sniffles of every octave and the cutest pouty expressions of all time.

 

And although she'll never get that chair back, and she still brings it up, it'll be okay.  And I don't mind being the evil villainess who gave away her chair, either.  It's just another lesson in life.  Sometimes we have to part with our old things to make room, especially if you're holding onto something just because it's always been there.  That's a lesson everyone has to learn.

Day IX: Fly Away Home

 

 

I'm finally finishing sharing the extra photos from our trip to Disney World, which means I can FINALLY start blogging about other things that have been happening (or not because we know how distracted I get).  It was the coolest trip and maybe someday I'll write a real article about it and share all those splendid little details that I don't share enough of.

Day VIII: The Last Day of Disney

 

 

Our last day was sort of us catching up.  There was a show we wanted to see at the Animal Kingdom, the Festival of the Lion King show, then we headed to Epcot.  There was like no one at Epcot, except eating in particular places.  Luckily, we still managed to get into the place for lunch without a reservation, even though everyone in Epcot was there.  It was still incredibly special.

 

Day VII: Back to the Magic

 

 

There was no possible way to experience everything the Magic Kingdom had to offer the first time around, so we planned yet another excursion there.  We thought the Saturday would be even more crazy busy than the Monday visit was, but surprisingly, it wasn't at all.  We also finished much sooner than expected, but did everything we could have wished for.  Bailey also insisted upon doing a few things twice.

Day VI: Beach Bums

 

We took another break from the Disney madness and drove out to Daytona Beach.  Bailey will tell you we went to Coco Beach, but that's only because we originally had spoken of going there, and she must have caught that part of the conversation.  We also dropped by New Smyrna Beach just for fun.  As obvious in the photos, Bailey was just as fond of the water as ever.

Mommy and Daddy checked out Downtown Disney the day prior so it was Bailey, Grandma, and Grandpa's turns (but Mommy and Daddy still went too).  There was a lot to see, especially inside the giant Disney Store.  You'll be able to see what I mean.

Disney Day V: Among the Animals

 

 

The five of us ventured to Disney's Animal Kingdom that Thursday.  It was another cooler day, but still beautiful, and we managed to survive without being eaten by any gorillas or lions, so that's a major plus.  Breakfast was also the best meal of the day.  You can see that for yourselves.

Day IV: Under the Sea

 

We took a break from the over-commercialization of Disney for a trip to Sea World.  And you are not imagining it, we are wearing coats.  It was a very cool day.   

You'll be seeing a couple different shows in great detail, as in, after you see these, it'll be like you saw the whole show in person.  I do what I can to help you visualize. :)

Day III: Retrieved

Look what I have!!! 

These were taken during our day at Disney Hollywood Studios, formerly known as MGM Studios, while Grandma and Grandpa spent the day near Tampa visiting relatives at a casino.  A lot of the rides and shows had rules against flash photography, so Mommy resisted.  You'll just have to use your imaginations when it comes to the Great Movie Ride, Muppet 3D show and the Little Mermaid stage show.

A special thanks to Grandpa for our precious photos!

Proof in Pictures: Day II

The first batch hardly proves just how much fun we had.  Bailey was pretty happy though to see Grandpa and Grandma after a month and a half of being apart.  These photos prove just what incredible adventures were in store for us in Disney World.  WARNING: Do not view this if you want your next visit to Disney World to be a surprise.  Trust me, after you see these photos, you'll probably feel like you've been there with us.

 

 

...Maybe someday I'll post the rest of our pictures from LAST YEAR's Florida trip...

We really did go to Disney World.

But you wouldn't know we went February 24-March 3 since there has been little evidence through photos from the big trip. 

 

I finally added some photos on her website.  There are some missing though which is why I've waited this long (true story).  We're missing the photos from the third day of the vacation.  I'm still waiting to get our Disney Hollywood Studios photos from Grandpa. 

 

And to prove to you we actually did go, here are the extra photos from Day 1 (The Airport).  Day 2 is soon to follow. These photos are exclusive to the blog and will not be showcased on her site.  Enjoy!

Our Parental Influences Showing...

"She makes a little sound," my daughter says, describing a little stuffed blue bird.

 

"And when she makes that little sound," (a high pitched little sound) "it means she's going to cry again, so she's in time-out."  Time out is in the trash can at McDonalds.

 

I wonder what this says about our parenting styles.

Imaginative Delusion

Bailey asked me if squirrels have imaginations.  I asked her what she thought and she said they do and I asked her if she had one.

 

She told me she doesn't have one.  Considering I'm forced to call her "Cinderella" right now while she wears a blue ball gown and we're sipping tea and Fudge is currently in mouse mode, I tend to disagree.

Seriously?

Seriously.

 

I just asked this question in my household only a few minutes ago.  "You're really going to ruin our day over apple juice?  Really?"

 

Twenty-five minutes ago, somebody was a little disappointed to discover we were all out of apple juice.  Not that she normally drinks apple juice with breakfast, in fact, she never does, but apparently that was the plan this morning until she discovered the empty bottle with the recycled plastic.  She's been pretty much quiet ever since and I will tell you something, I almost prefer the loud fits over the silent ones.  Almost.  And I say almost because she freezes up completely during these silent ones and even moving her is difficult.  And getting through to her takes forever.  Then again, the loud ones, she'd flail about and those would take forever to calm her down too.  I guess there's no winner.

 

But since she's quiet, it gives me a chance to remind her of significant facts.  I reminded her how most of the time she doesn't even drink her apple juice and we have to dump it out.  I also asked her if she really wanted to ruin our plans for the whole day, like going to the farm after preschool today.

 

Her answer? Silence.

 

It's not so golden today, folks.

I had a good laugh...

I'll admit, this may only be funny to me as so many things in life are, but I was buying something online (in fact, I'm still in the check out process as I type) and one of the steps in the check out process is: 

 

Please enter the birthdate and gender of the children you shop for most often

 

Now, you may be reading this asking yourself and the skies above, "why is that so funny?",  "Has she lost her mind?", and/or  "I still do not get her sense of humor and lack thereof," but I will answer "not at all." 

Read it again.

 

"The children you shop for most often."  As in, you don't shop for the rest of your offspring.  As in, picking favorites.  As in, you only buy for one or two and not all of the above.  Okay, well I found it funny.  So while you argue favorites and hand-me-downs and such, I'll continue laughing.

 

And for those who laughed with me, thanks for your avid support.

She's a Rockstar, Baby

We may never know where this notion came from (like so many that enter her genius brain), but on March 31, Bailey announced that she was a rockstar named Spongebob Squarepants (again with that pesky yellow square) and that she played a guitar (but it looked a lot like a grey remote control to me) and rocked out in Princess boots that she proudly told me she had just bought at the store the day prior.  Funny, I remembered getting them on clearance last year.

 

She summoned me into the living room to watch her concert which was "starting in three minutes."  The rockstar rocked out on a stage sponsored by Rubbermaid.  It took all I had to not laugh hysterically.  I do not expect the same self control from you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I figured you'd laugh.

 

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So Sad

We were on our way home and to explain just how important it was to get there in a quick fashion (as in no other stops anywhere else), I simply told Bailey we had to get there because Fudge was sad.  She pondered this and asked a couple questions like, "when people get sad, do they cry?"  She answered for me.  I asked her if she ever gets really sad and according to her, boy, she gets really sad.

 

"Yeah like when I get sad when Spongebob and Gary are supposed to come over and play but they don't.  That makes me really sad and I cry because I miss them."

 

She went into extremely rich details concerning this, but I was far too busy dry heaving over the fact that Spongebob Squarepants has made it into yet another discussion with my child.  Sigh.

The inhumanity of it all

With having a new puppy comes training and lots of usage of the word, "no."  It's like getting a brand spankin' new toddler.  One of her naughty little tricks is knocking over the kitchen trash can.  This is not an admirable trait.  This is not an acceptable trait.  This is an aggravating trait.

 

So after a couple occurrences, a punishment had to be exacted.

 

If you remember (well, if you knew us then), when we trained our feline Aerial all those many, many years ago, we used the ever humane device appropriately named The Zap Mat.  It was the coolest little gray sheet of a tool that  would inflict a slight twinge of shock into whatever touched it.  Either the cat learned her lesson or just was always well-behaved.  We tend to assume the best.  And although we joked about using it during Bailey's toddler training, we honestly never did, just thought really seriously hard about it.

 

Well, since we still had it gathering dust in the basement, we brought it up for some fun.  It'd lived a lonely enough life, so it was due time for it to relive its glory days.

 

We explained in grave detail to Miss Bailey on how important it was to not touch it and that it would zap her.  She's a curious child after all.  We made sure she understood and she would gladly remind you of its powers and "that it would really, really hurt you."  And Fudge can contest to that because although we haven't witnessed her sneaking in to knock the ecru mass of filth over, we have heard her yelp a pitiful cry that the whole neighborhood could probably recall hearing once or twice.  We'll continue leaving it in its place for a little longer though just to make sure its lesson has stuck.

 

Then out of the spontaneous blue, Bailey spoke of how it zapped her big toe, but not her whole foot and that it hurt.  "But it didn't zap all of me."  Apparently she told Rob and I this same tale at separate times, making us both wonder whether this was a possibly true event or a concocted one.

 

We're going to just go with the "healthy imagination" excuse.