No mother wants to be classified as a "bad mother." I'm not sure about anyone else, but sometimes that fear resides towards the back of my brain, or at least the inspiration to NOT be a bad mother. I spent a great part of today believing I was a bad mother, and then trying to convince myself otherwise.
How do you get your two-year-old to brush their teeth well? We brush her teeth each day, trying to aim for after each meal (not always successfully), and I tried to follow all the rules about sugar and bottles and everything we're warned against and when she drinks apple juice, sometimes I give myself a guilt trip. Well, today while changing Bailey's diaper, I saw a cavity in a top molar. It was one of those vain little fears, those things that I thought only children of "bad" parents had. It was a horrible experience and I hope no one else ever has to go through that.
So, today I went throughout the day, partially sulking, and the other part trying to convince myself it could happen to anyone, as well as trying to take other preventive measures as I constructed a plan. If you know me well, you know I analyze everything to death and retrace my steps to learn exactly how I screwed up whatever it is that I thought to be chaos. Towards the end of the day, I still had that pit in my stomach, but I lost the judgmental edge that I used to have. And as I was putting my daughter to bed, I discovered after we brushed, brushed, brushed our teeth and changed her diaper, there was no cavity after all. What I must have seen was the remains of one Junior Mint that she stole from my stash in the computer room. And as I sigh of relief and no longer beat myself up over this "cavity" I know that not necessarily bad parents go through this, and that I want to try even harder to avoid this ever truly happening. Throughout my adventures in mothering and this mission I am on, I am still on high alert, and probably will be for a while. I'm humbled. I'm also ready for the dentist.
So as you either laugh at me or sigh with me too, or think scolding thoughts about the Junior Mint, please share in my newfound epiphany and if you do have children who have cavities, note that I don't think you're a bad parent. I just wish teeth were easier to brush.
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