What kind of parents are we?

"What kind of mother...."  my husband starts with.

At the time, we were leaving the store after buying some car necessities and a few groceries.  We were traipsing through the parking lot, so when he started with this, it could've gone anywhere. 

...dresses or allows their children to dress like that. 

...speaks to her children so crudely. 

...lets her children behave that way. 

 

Or there's, "...takes her kid out in public with her pants on backwards."  And suddenly my mind flashed to when Bailey put her pants back on earlier on her own.  And then I came to the sudden realization that there's a high possibility that she put them on backwards because she does do that.  I find it funny though that neither one of us ever noticed all the while we were out in public until the very end, and he of all people noticed when he took her up front as I checked out.

 

 

There could've been worse things to have missed.  Right?

 

We do not promote cannibalism in this household.

Bailey plays this game on weekend mornings with Daddy where I'm actually sleeping and they come wake me up.  She crawls under the covers and from there the adventure begins.  She goes searching for Harry. whoever that is.  She gets afraid the monster is waking up.  And sometimes, she has a feast.  She told Daddy she had to eat first and crawls down and next thing I knew, she was perched on my backside and the motion of her hand moving up, like someone eating with a utensil, was felt.  She then asked Daddy, "would like some Mommy parts too?"

 

And normally we swear she doesn't eat enough meat.

Note to Self: Never Assume

Bailey had been playing with this little toy cat.  She later announced she trapped the cat into a cage.  She kept saying it over and over and I was getting a bit annoyed.  Well, when I discovered that she had indeed trapped a cat into a cage (a.k.a. the laundry basket) I was sure thankful I had entered the kitchen before I left the house considering it was no longer the tiny toy cat she had been referring to, but our own feline instead.  Aerial was not amused.  I told her, "just be glad I found you now."  I told Bailey we are not to trap the cat anymore to which she replied, "because she'll be stuck forever?"  Close enough.  I was thinking because we'd regret it forever.  But again, close enough.

Check Your Calendars!

Bailey found us this morning and the first thing she told us was that it was "Spongebob's Holiday" and that it was "on the calendar."  She has spoken constantly about it ever since.  And when looking at her calendar, she also pointed out Gary's (the snail), Patrick's, Sandy's and The Flying Dutchman's holidays as well which all happen to occur in different months on various days.  The two I remember currently are:

 

The 24th of February is Sandy's Holiday. 

 

And May 11 is the Flying Dutchman's Holiday.

 

You should celebrate too.

Bailey's Brother

Bailey just told me some very intriguing news.  She has a brother named Harry.  Harry Potter.  I'd like to understand that one too.

The Sadist

Right now, we're playing librarian.  My role is to "punch" the books she brings me and then she takes her book choice and drops into her pink princess hamper.  At the very bottom of the hamper are a couple of her "friends" in the form of the stuffed variety.  After she drops the book you can then hear from her tiny little mouth, speaking for her helpless pals, "ouch, I think that was my knee."  "That was my head."  "Oww, that hurt my neck."  Etc.

 

At least she's creative.

The Chopstick Fight and a bit of Honesty

I went to pick up my adorable little child from preschool yesterday.  She was dressed in her Asian wear and having a Chinese New Year party with her class, just as the two of us had planned.  I enter the room to witness another boy child and her using the chopsticks as a double set of swords.  They were the only two children doing such an act.  It doesn't surprise me that Bailey would engage in battle.  Luckily, no eyes were poked out during the process.

 

And as I was sitting down today trying to remember everything I wanted to type about, Bailey and I had another random conversation.  This time it was about zombies and I asked her if she liked them.  She said, "No, because they're not cute.  They're scary and bloody and are for Halloween."  And here I thought that's what she liked best.

Power Drinks

Bailey saw a commercial on television today for some sort of yogurt drink product.  Suddenly, she was interested in said product, whatever it is, and decided that we should buy some at the store.  "We have to get some of that yogurt in a bottle," were her exact words.

 

Those exact words were then followed by, "that stuff will make my eyes green and I'll turn into a ghost."

 

Now that's one potent drink.

Are you ready for some football?

According to Bailey, we're going to watch a football game outside tomorrow.  We weren't aware of that.  But if we ask her if she's going to watch the Superbowl on television this evening, she willingly nods.

 

Until then, she's making her father play cashier as she shops 'til she drops in our living room with Daddy behind the Dora cash register, her with her "tiny green shopping cart" and a purse from the trusty ol' dress-up trunk full of board game cash.  We know how to have a good time in this household.

Ian Falconer, If You're Reading This...

My child would like you to write an Olivia and the jungle book.

As for anyone else reading this blog who has no idea what any of that means, Ian Falconer is a splendid writer who has the most adorable character of a swine deemed Olivia in a series of children's books.  Lately Olivia and the Missing Toy has become Bailey's bedtime story of choice.

And Ian, really, get on it.  I'm serious.  We'd like it by July, please.

Dinner Conversation

"Bailey, do you not like your dinner?"

"No."

"What do you like?"

"I like ballerinas."

"How do ballerinas taste?"

"No, ballerinas are not food.  I like snakes."

"Are snakes food?"

"Yeah."

"Are they yummy?"

"Yes they are."

 

 

Apparently, snakes are yummy and spaghetti is not.